30&31: home and content

typically i don't feel well staying at home.

i would feel like i should be outside, exploring the city since i just moved here or grinding towards the next money goal, hobby, or skill. but these last two days have been different.

yesterday, i felt this sentiment initially. about not doing enough. i can do so much more, i have the ability, i have the talent, but i'm not. and got all over myself about it as i usually do. i had a conversation with Rachel about this and asked her what she does to get out of slumps. she said things I already knew but it was nice hearing those reaffirming beliefs.

after our conversation, i did the same things. stayed inside and kept to myself. but this time, i wasn't upset about it. i wasn't upset that i am not uber productive or outside exploring. i'm fine. i'm in a great position in life.

today was the same thing. i woke up, did some chores, William called so I had a nice chat with him, and did laundry. after our call, i stayed in. and i feel good about it. i'm content with my life right now and that feels freeing. instead of pushing myself to do things because I am in NYC, doesn't mean i need to. and i like that i'm cool with being content. i'm just happy that i'm here.

i got hungry and didn't feel like cooking anything so i went down to grab a pizza at Luzzo's and ate half a pizza. I think I'll just eat the other half tomorrow because I'm not craving pizza at the moment. right as I got inside, Jaustin texted and we hopped on Facetime and caught up. it was really nice hearing from the boy again and hearing how he was been feeling lately. He's thinking of sending a trip to the Philippines and living out there for a minute, which is super sick. I would come thru in winter time if he's still out there.

And now, I'm just chilling. I'm writing this entry and enjoying my time here. I'm still doing things in my free time like designing my new room, talking to friends, and making videos. I just like that I feel content about my life.